Sharee's real life...no joking

Teaching High School

2010-02-11T05:50:00.000-08:00

I have officially been teaching on my own for 6 weeks or so. I have another four to go.

I just finished up our unit on mental and emotional health. It went well....but there is so much that I forgot to say. Based on some student evaluation of me that is a good thing. "You talk to much...and class get's boring." said two students.

I was wondering what they had in mind if I didn't do the talking? Perhaps they want to talk, but the two of them NEVER talk. They just make snide remarks about class to each other in Spanish. So, what to do? My vote, which is the one that has veto power, says: I am going to continue to keep talking!!! And flinging my screeching monkey.

I truly love teaching. It is refreshing to be with people who are, mostly, full of hope for the future, have excellent humor, and with whom I really love being around. I have learned so much from watching them and listening to their points of view. One of the evaluation sheets also said, "You don't show it, but you are extremely biased. I feel it when you talk." So I guess I get to be more cautious of how I am presenting material and remind them and myself that while this is one option, and my opinion is another option, there is also a third option and a fourth. They just get to choose their own option.

I have a student who loves, and I do mean LOVES, Taylor. He told me he wants to be Taylor's best friend. This comment was made after I told them about the water down the pants with the funnel story, and the smashing of the chips story, and the cold mashed potatoes between my toes story, and the water over the shower story, etc.

See what I mean? I get paid, well sort off (just not in money yet) to be entertained and experience life through a different set of eyes as my job!

All the lesson planning and all the late nights, dirty house, dirty laundry, cat poop and dog poop and the things in life that have lost their realative importance, are now beginning to pay off.

I am grateful for the opportunity and the place in life I am right now! Thank you Divine Oneness, Universe and all the people whom I truly love.

Namaste

Austin Update

2010-02-04T14:15:00.000-08:00

Taylor and I saw Austin today. This is the first meeting when we have all met together.

Austin is doing well. He has worked his way to a level 3, which means he has all kinds of privilege's now. He can wear his own clothes, he can play games and watch TV (he is really excited to see the Super Bowl this Sunday) and he even has some free-time. He has worked really hard to be where he is at.

He is understanding how when he focuses on something so hard that is what he will get in his life. He is understanding that he determines what his life is going to be and what it will look like.

His eyes are sparkly and he is dealing with emotions and feelings. He asked Taylor and I some pretty hard questions today about how we felt about him. He processed the feelings and the emotions and we made a small, tiny step toward being in a better place.

I love you Austin. I am so proud of you.

My Boy's

2010-01-08T12:49:00.000-08:00

I went to luch with Taylor today. He sent me a text and said, "Lunchies?" that is how I know he is very hungry.

He wanted to go to the Training table, but decided against it because it would raise his blood sugar too high then he would feel really awful. We decided on Magelby's Fresh. They have delicious food.

Earlier in the day he sent me a text and told me he didn't feel good. He never feels good when he eats bad food. I reminded him of that. I also reminded him that he may want to put more live/fresh food in his diet. I think he gave me the stink eye.

His idea of live and fresh differ significanly from mine. Live and fresh to me means something that has high nutrient density and that hasn't been cooked to death. His idea is if you pass by the salad bar with your slab of meat you bick up the nutients by being in their proximity.

Taylor got the fish and chips with a side of cole slaw. I got (according to Taylor) gross soup (black bean tortilla) and an icky salad (Magelby's house salad with raspberry vinegrette).

Isn't life grand?

Now to Austin. This picture was taken at Christmas. When we walked in he had a hola-hoop around his waist. I noticed another young man with a similar hoop. I asked Austin what was up with the hoop and he replied, "I am learning boundries." Isn't that fantastic? I love that concrete idea that is so simple and so profound at the same time. I am going to use that in my class.

I had an appointment yesterday with Austin and his therapist and his caseworker and his doctor. I have to say, despite all the stupid political hoops that must be jumped through for kids to get help, Wasatch Mental Health has the best staff I have ever encountered.

Keep in mind please that I haven't seen Austin for about three weeks or so. Also, I did not flat iron my hair before I went to see him and so it was only round brushed and a tad poofy. The first thing Austin said to me after he said "Hi." was "Do you need to go back home and comb your hair?" I laughed and he laughed.

While we were waiting to see the doctor his therapist made this disclaimer, "Margret is not your usual doctor. She is really good and I have a lot of respect for her."

The therapist was right. Margret is not a usual doctor. She is more of a comedian. She has books like, "Bunnie Suicide, and Ways to tell small kids lies." She also has a magazine that has things in it like a bacon wallet, a chicken chucker, bacon jelly-bean etc. It was right up my ally, and likely Taylors. I was laughing so hard my face hurt.

She had the most amazing way to make Austin feel at home and relax so he could be honest and then open up. The hysteria went on for a good 30 minutes or more and finally she was able to ease in to a not so easy line of questioning. I was amazed at how well she could read Austin and how loving and gentle she was.

Today I am still thinking about her. I am thankful that my son has people like her at his side to assist him in his recovery.

The time Austin has been gone from us has been hard. We all miss him, and he really misses home. He has not behaved well at the treatment center and last week he had 17 poor behavior marks. That means he gets to wear a white shirt and tie everywhere AND the hoola-hoop.

He set a goal this week, knowing that if he doesn't change his course in life he is going to end up exactly where he does not want to be. Being true to his word and following through on his new behavior goal, he has only had 3 poors this week! That is an all time record for him.

I love you Austin. I miss you and I send my love and light to you everyday. The angels and Divine Oneness are with you always.

Do you remember when?

2010-01-06T21:30:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a long time friend of mine last night of facebook and we got to laughing and talking about the good old days. Not the days of cowboys and horses, but of times that were easy and fun and carefree.

I realize I am approaching this next request much to early...I just don't care. I think it would be a wonderful gift to have a notebook that was called REMEMBER WHEN.

It would be memories of times past that have touched you, have made you a better person, caused you to laugh with such furor that you wet yourself a little. A "smile file" if you will. A book that is done in a collaborative effort to say, "Thank you, I love you, I needed that laugh, I appreciate the time...etc."

What say all of you heathens? I am in!

Remember when Hillary ran out of gas on 8th north in Orem?

Remember when Sharee put up Hillary's 5th grade picture all over work saying, "Have you seen me?" (I couldn't find a milk carton)

Remember when Taylor...good grief the list is just to long to even start...had excess personality?

Remember when Eliza asked Grandma why she had a tail without a cat?

Remember when Maddie couldn't make up her mind to go up-stays or down-stays and ended up peeing her pants?

That's what I'm talking about people. How about it?

This is what I want as gifts from now on. No more presents; I want your memories. I don't' even want it on artsy fartsy crafty cutesy paper. Plain old white paper will work.

Love and light to you all

Stop Sitting On Me...My Elbow Is Getting Tired

2010-01-05T21:11:00.000-08:00

Bay likes to sprawl when he is watching the TV. His favorite place to lay is where I sit with my computer.

I can't sit anywhere else because the cords don't reach.

Tonight I asked him if he could sit up for just a second so I could get some information off my computer but he wouldn't so I just sat on him.

He laughed a little, complained a lot and then jabbed his bony little thirteen year old elbow into my back. He thought this would deter me, but he was wrong.I used it to my advantage.

As he dug deeper I moved around to get a dandy massage. All the while telling him, "A little to the right, left, up. Yea, right there."

Then he started to giggle and dig harder, so I sat harder (if that is possible). He giggled some more and said, "Stop sitting on me, my elbow is getting tired."

The strangest things are said at this house.

Christmas at our House

2009-12-25T22:48:00.000-08:00

Christmas is a wonderful time of year, if you happen to celebrate it. Even if you don't I bet you go out and eat good Chineese food. That sounds good. Perhaps I am hungry.

This year was a tad different for us, but none-the-less, great. The kids had "the best Christmas EVER!!"

Everyone got what they wanted!! (see previous post for more details)
Austin got candy and sweat pants. I'm sure he'll sit around with his hoola-hoop eating candy and playing Monopoly City eating his Christmas goodies.

Bay got superman undies. I sure hope he wears them to school in gym!

Liza got a bottle of her own mustard, which is sitting in our fridge with her name on it. She loooooves mustard; what can I say?

Kate got her own roll of tin foil. She wrapped one present for me and four for Taylorat!

Most importantly we all got love. It was a good day spent with easy times and no stress.

I feel so blessed to have so many people in my life whom I love and who love me and mine back.

MERRY CHRISTMAS....YA FILTHY ANIMAL!

The Most Wonderful Time of The Year

2009-12-23T22:07:00.000-08:00

I was standing in line today at BYU to get gifts wrapped (You're welcome). A women came and stood in line behind me and started chatting. Not just chatting, but having a full blown conversation with anyone and everyone who would listen/participate.

She was a nice enough lady, for a perfectly good stranger. Anyway we started talking about Christmas and she told me that her mom gave out "black" marks one year for Christmas. If they got 10 she was cancelling Christmas. They got to 9 1/2. She said it was hard to only have brothers. She had to defend herself.

I have told my kids the same thing. However, we don't do black marks. I just tell them they are "losing presents" and if they don't stop fighting they can walk home (if we are in the car).

I do love Christmas and I do love short people.

Merry Christams, Happy Haunika, Kuanza and Happy Holiday's to you all.

CHEERS!!

Then there were TWO

2009-12-23T21:01:00.000-08:00

I know I am a tad on the, shall we say, "Interesting side", but without people on that side, the world would be lopsided. It takes all kinds right?

What I would like to address is something I got out of a book called "Mutant Message from Forever".

Our experience here on earth is really all about remembering who we are as spirit beings.

We forget for whatever reason, but there are clues and cues that make us aware and cause us to remember again.

This book is written by a doctor from America who was invited to Australia to implement a preventative medical program. While she was there she encountered the Aborigine's. They are more of an outcast people than other races are in our culture. However, she did not buy into the myths of them and set out on a journey to assist them despite what other people had told her.

On her journey to get to know these people, who call themselves the "Real People", she learned ten things.

1. Express your individual creativity: this means that everyone has a significant roll to contribute to society. There is not one thing that is more or less than another.It is all based on life experience.

2. Realize you are accountable: We are guests on this planet and we get to treat it as such. We get to leave it as good or better than we found it. We get to care for the plants, animals and children who may not have a voice. We get to be accountable for the promises we make, agreements we enter into and the results of our actions.

3. Before birth you agreed to help others: what does this look like to you? Are you keeping your word? Are you being accountable? Are you doing what is in the "highest good for all those involved"?

4. Mature Emotionally: The goal of being human is to grow and to discipline our emotions. We are as happy as we allow ourselves to be. Being truthful with ourselves and others is the key.

5. Entertain: Show off that side of yourself that is childlike, easy going, happy. On the other side show off the side that can receive entertainment as well. Life is about giving and taking.

6. Be a steward of your energy: For me this is the most significant of all things. We were born of energy and everything we do is some form of energy. Energy can not be destroyed or created. It just is. However, energy can be expounded, or grow larger. Everything in our world, seen and unseen, is made up of energy. Therefore, our words, our action and our thoughts are energy. What we focus on grows. If we focus on scarcity or fear, that is what grows. If we focus on love and abundance that is what grows. We are the creators of our lives.

7. Indulge in music: We love music...every nation on earth has their "brand" of music. Music touches our very souls, it makes us move, it makes us think, it makes us real. Music is our soul speaking. It is the voice of our planet communicating to the universe.

8. Strive to achieve wisdom: wisdom is how a person uses knowledge. It is the deliberate, selective decision to act in a certain way or not to act at all, considering the welfare of everyone concerned.

9. Learn self-discipline: Self-discipline can help keep your body healthy. The state of human health is a barometer showing us the state of the earth's health. It is necessary to develop self-discipline to experience any inner connectedness of body and soul.

10. Observe without judging: This gets thrown in our faces on a regular basis. We know the term, "Thou shalt not judge" yet we ALL do it anyway. Why do we do it? The "Real People" say, "Observing without judging is sometimes called "unconditional love". All humans are spiritual souls. All were created in the same instant. No one is older, smarter or better off than anyone else. Each was given the save one gift, the gift of free will, freedom of choice. The Source is perfect, and everything created by the Source is perfect. We were created spiritually perfect and have remained so, but our gift lets us believe and act otherwise. We allow ourselves to see ourselves and others as less than perfect and have the adventure of acting less than our potential peaceful selves.

I truly love you all. I am perfect in all the ways I was created. I am not perfect in my physical body. I still make choices that are not in the highest interest of all those involved. Nevertheless, it is my experience. My experience leads to my reality.

Love and light to you all.....FOREVER!!!

I'm BAAAACK

2009-12-23T20:38:00.000-08:00

It has been far to long since I have made a post...Far to long. I will blame it on school. However, I am done with the really hard part of school and I am doing my student teaching in January.

How exciting, right? The correct answer is RIGHT!

What a roller-coaster the last few months have been. I honestly don't know how I made it though. We had some family issues, but who doesn't, then Taylor went off and infected his appendix, aka...kitten pouch, which had to be removed during finals!!!!

I suppose I still love the man, but seriously...

Let me inform you what kind of wife I really am. He woke up Wednesday morning and said, "My stomach hurts. Do I have a fever?" I felt his head, pushed on his stomach and said, "You aren't sick. You don't need to go to the doctor."

Then I left for "my" day. I had a job interview, therapy and two finals...and it was our anniversary! I really wanted to do something exciting for being married for 15 years. Being married to Taylor for 15 years is the equivalent of being married in dog years. That means in human years I have been married for 105 years and I still look good. HA!

On my way home from my job interview, which I didn't get, I had the feeling, "Call him and see if he wants to go with you." So I did and he did. His appointment was at two.

At one-thirty, after I had been to American Fork four times that day, I drove the man to the doctor's office in Springville. As Taylor is telling the doctor his symptoms I am madly studying and cramming for the final from hell....nutrition 100. The doctor runs some blood work and as he comes back in with the results he says, "Can you take that final another time?"

I'm thinking, "Yea, right pal. Are you serious?"

Taylor's white blood count was elevated and the doctor set up an appointment for him to have some kind of scan done at the hospital. I can't remember if it was an MRI or a CT. Whatever it was/is is going to cost a pretty penny.

To make a long story, a tad shorter, by 6:30 pm he was in surgery having his "kitten pouch" removed.

The moral of this story is this...be careful what you wish for. My wish was to have a spectacular anniversary.

No one will EVER convince me that God does not have a sense of humor!!!

I am still laughing. Har...Har.!

Sites You Should Know About, But Might Make You Ill

2009-07-26T06:25:00.000-07:00

www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com

AND

www.thisiswhyyourefat.com

These sites are courtesy of Taylorat and his bizarre, um, something.

And then there was ONE

2009-07-26T06:02:00.000-07:00

I like the short people, I really do, they just seem to be so synergistic when combined with each other. They have magical powers that can destroy or stink up a room in a matter of seconds, and I am the haz-mat person that comes through after they are done and cleans up all the debris and lights matches and sprays fabreez.(I was informed that it's not healthy to hold it in; it could make you sick).

However, starting yesterday, I am slowly but systematically, farming them out. Marry Poppins has gone to St. George with a friend until Tuesday, and tomorrow, Hose A and Hose B are going to scout camp for a WEEK!!! Only Katydid will be at home.

That being said, I am sure I will be fully educated in sprinkler running, the fastest way to the Creamery, how many treats have not been consumed at any given moment, but this child never says, "I'm bored". Bless her heart.

I am looking forward to not finding grapevine parts, shredded paper, candy wrappers and an assortment of shoes under my couch and between the cushions. I am looking forward to regrouping my sanity and taking back the house even if it is only for a day. I have hope. Furthermore, the end is near, as school will be starting in 24 days, but who is really counting? Certainly not me.

The Four Agreements

2009-07-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

I love to read. This week I have read a plethora of books, OK 3 or 4, but I love the word plethora. At any rate, for anyone who has not read The Four Agreements, I would highly recommend it.

It is a practical and, oh, so simply way to live. For anyone who wants to be, and do better this is a launching pad.

I will include the link to the amazon site so you can read a bit about the book by the author.

http://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319#

Other books I have read this week that are equally as intriguing are:

Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. A story based on true events. Dan came across an old man who acted as his tutor and whom he called Socrates. This is his story of how he transformed from regular to extraordinary.

The River Why by Robert Duncan (perhaps the funniest book I've ever read...again)
A story of a fisherman who discovers that life is more than just fish and water and beer. The vernacular is hysterical as are the characters; Gus, Bill Bob, Ma and H2O (aka Dad) will jump into your heart and you will laugh right out loud. Try it, you might like it.

How to See and Read the Aura by Ted Andrews. OK, perhaps not entertaining, but at the very least interesting. I'll keep you posted.

Have a magnificent day!

The Case of the Elusive Pee Badger

2009-07-17T08:43:00.000-07:00

The Fourth of July is one of our favorite holidays. We almost always hike the "Y" and BBQ and eat lots of Otter-pops and to wrap up the end of a perfect day we watch firework from our front lawn. This year we were also privileged to have Elasta-girl at our house.

The Y trail is a steep hike. It only takes about an hour to get to the top if you aren't lugging short people. However, what goes up must come down, and it is ultra steep on the way down as well.

The girls wanted to know why someone hadn't thought to install a slide? I couldn't come up with a good reason either, but I am pretty sure that is on their to do list now.

Three of the cutest girls alive

Stink eye to Thee

You might be a Red Neck if....

Our view

There is always one

His usual self

The Cheeser

This year, in addition to the above mentioned, we made a discover of a new species. The Pee Badger. Please click on the video link below to see this magnificent creature.

Christmas in July

2009-07-17T08:15:00.001-07:00

For some reason I thought I wouldn't have to start thinking about Christmas until, um, December. However, my children have different ideas about when to start thinking about things... like Birthdays, for instance, they start talking about their next birthday the day after their currant birthday and for a whole year I get to listen to their grandiose ideas for parties, presents etc.

They have now added Christmas to the list of "Things to talk about a year in advance". Do they not realize my brain can only hold so much information?

However, I am really excited about Christmas this year because the kids are simplifying. I have only gotten a list from 3 of the 4 thus far but I am anticipating the request from the fourth child to be just as unique as the other three.

So far the lists of must have go something like this:

Bailey: wants a unicycle with a really long chain (maybe he's going to join the circus)

Eliza: wants her own jar of mustard (I don't even know what to think about this)

Kate: wants her own roll of aluminum foil (for boat making or contacting aliens I am guessing)

Austin: undecided as of yet, but I will let you know

They have asked for nothing else. Isn't this great? I will only need to go to two stores to get everything I need. The bike shop, how convenient since I work there, and the picnic isle at Macey's. Perhaps I'll get Taylor pickles and Red Hot while I'm there and call it good.

Who says life has to be hard?

Huzzah!!

Subing

2009-04-21T21:29:00.000-07:00

Since I am working on becoming a teacher in secondary education I thought it would be a good idea to give myself some real life experience. So I applied to be a substitute teacher.

I got my first assignment, a High School in our area, and I was really excited, but a little nervous as well. The class was a special needs class and I wasn't sure what to expect.

I had a hard time finding a parking space and so I was a tad late getting to the office to get the key to the room. After the secretary explained how to get to the room I took off hunting for this room that had students standing outside waiting for me.

I had been warned that sometimes students take a liking to their teachers and to always conduct yourself in a professional manner. However, I didn't think they really were all that serious about the situation.

I found the class room and I as I was walking down the hall I heard, "Ooooh, la, la." And the first thing that went through my mind was, "Don't react to that." And "Seriously?".

I let them into the room and explain them who I am and begin passing out their assignment.

One young man, let's call him Juan, asked, "Are you married?" to which I replied yes. (Say this next part out loud with your best Hispanic accent) Juan then yelled across the room to his "oooh, la, la-ing" friend and says, "To bad for you Omar!"

Seriously?

Stop the Rocking...Stop the Rocking

2009-04-01T17:44:00.000-07:00

The noise is killing me smalls! There is no where to go because they always find me. I have not had a complete thought for 14 years. I could have graduated from college six times as fast, but because they all keep asking me questions....well, I am still in college. Some of the more interesting questions that have recently been asked are, "What would happen if a child was born with only their middle fingers?" That would indeed be a shock to a teacher when the child raised their hand to ask a question for the first time. Other question include, "Have you seen my shoes?", "Do you know where my belt is?", "Is there anything you need besides apples and grapefruits?", "Do we have any food to eat?", "Want to see what else I bought?"

I dont' know...how come no one ever tells you that the game of 20 questions takes on a whole new meaning after you have children? Perhaps they did tell , but I probablly didn't listen because I was asking a question.

The other day I took Kate to lunch at cheap chinease; she had the veal. For the last while she has been telling me how much she would like a cell phone. Again with the questions, "Can I get a cell phone mom?" I never really give her a straight answer, I just smile and giggle and walk away. Remember Kate is 5. So, I park the car, or in her words, the beast, and being the interesting child she is, Kate brought along her pink camo purse, which is actually Liza's. I have just picked her up from school and she has her school bag and inside of the school bag is her (Liza's) purse, her baby and a bottle of water. There are probably other things but those are the only things I can see.

They seat us and she is sitting accros from me. She bellies up to the table and plops her purse down and starts to empty it out. The first item out of her purse is our house phone. At first I couldn't believe it. Then it occured to me how creative she actually is. I asked her if she got any calls.

One-Two-Three, Lunge

2009-03-28T21:40:00.000-07:00

Several years ago I bought a gag gift at Christmas time for Taylor. It was an orange speedo. Similar to this pair of orange underwear, but speedo style.

This gag gift has provided our family endless moments of entertainment. About the time I gave this gift to him the movie "Nacho Libre" came out. I feel that this movie contributed to Taylor taking the term "stretchy pants" to a whole new level.

Taylor does have a sombrero, but this is not him. I show this image only to help you conjure a visual image.

One afternoon Taylor called from the end of the hall, "Did Paul go home?" ,and the reply came, "Yes." He proceeded to leap down the hall, like the FTD flower delivery person, in his charming orange speedo, aka "stretchy pants". Stating, "Finally, I thought he would never go home." As if prancing in his "stretchy pants" around the house is a normal family activity that happens every night precisely at 6 pm.

If that wasn't funny enough, he then went to the entertainment center and stood in front of the TV with his buttocks facing all of us. He put his arms on the entertainment center to support his weight and stood in a lunge position with most of his weight on his front leg. He began to do buttock flexes and deep lunges with his hands on his hips. He lunged/walked across our whole front room making deliberate lunges right at eye level for the edification of each boy.(To Taylors credit, he never does this in front of the two little girls, only me and the boys. Perhaps that doesn't matter, but I feel that it is a generous gesture on his part as it could scar the girls for life).

I was laughing,and gagging all at the same time. The boys were laughing,(out of shock, I believe) calling out things like "Sick!", "Gross!", "Disgusting!" and rushing to find anything and everything to cover their eyes with, as if they would turn to stone if they were to actually look and see their father in his "stretchy pant".

I am half tempted to seek out a large cross such as the one in the above photo, however, I am not sure what that would lead to. I can just imagine the get up now...orange "stretchy pants", sombrero, giant gold cross, and his fake mustache or beard all the while running as fast as he can at a high school football game holding a sign saying,"Catch me if you can!" Then being called from police department with a request to post bail.

The Dog and The Dishwasher

2009-03-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to become more envrionmentally friendly we are trying to reduce the amount of food we put down the drain, which in turn reduces the amount of dishsoap we consume. Plus dog food can get spendy, but that is really just an after thought.

We also feel that we get an rare vitamin by using this method; vitamin W as in "Walter". The vitamin improves sniffing, scratching , and burying skills. Not many humans realize they are difficient in this "w" vitamin.

Can't wait to have people over for dinner.

FrOm the MiXEd uP file of MY mAd Cow BraiN

2009-03-26T18:10:00.000-07:00

Today I feel like my life is like this pre-menopausal weather. Hot, cold, snowing, freezing, anything goes, and then back to stable. This is classic Utah spring weather, but good grief...it is colder than a well digger's butt!

The real causes of my fluctuation in mood is going to a class I am taking at BYU. I regularly wish this professor a very itchy rash in very embarrassing places. That and I stayed up to late and my car doors were FROZEN shut this morning and I needed a polar suit with moon boots to just take the dog out to pee.

On the brighter side, one of my dogs had a bath and now he smell like shampoo and dog instead of rotten potato and dog. He is no longer a dirt neck either. He also loves me and crawls in my lap and loves me. This gives a new meaning to hot dog eh?

I recently read a book by Kelly Corrigan called "The Middle Place". It is her story of growing up with a father who never saw anything other than happiness and how she survived breast cancer and changed her perspective to live in his "land". If you can get past the four letter adjectives, and by get past them, I mean read the book, it will have you laughing and crying all at the same time. A tad bit like Steel Magnolias, only funnier.

Here is a little blurb from her in her own words:

Some things you wouldn’t know about me from reading The Middle Place:

I don’t exercise, not only because I have inertia issues but also because it cuts way down on the number of showers I need to take. Other things that most people I know do that I do not are cook, shop and properly moisturize. I also cut my own hair and my childrens’ and ever so occasionally, when he’s trying to make up for something, my husband’s. I would cut yours too if you would let me.

I am interested in faith and people who have it. I am writing about it (essays, outlines for a novel, character sketches, a screenplay?) and thinking about it most days of the week. Although I am skeptical, I do pray. I do not go to church. I will always be Catholic (like I will always have brown eyes) but may grow into something else as well.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone.

Payback is like...raw eggs

2009-03-22T10:27:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I didn't get pictures of this. The impact of this would be so much better had I taken pictures.

It finally happened,Moleman, aka Taylor, finally got what he deserved.

Like usual I was minding my own business doing my thing. I was planting seeds and cleaning the kitchen and had a few potato chips on the counter that I was enjoying. Moleman, aka TaylorRat, came in and started making coughing noises and slamming something on the counter. When I turned around to see what was going on I saw that he had smashed my chips into a thousand tiny little pieces. He thinks that is funny; ask Bentley. He has experienced it first hand.

Between the water down my pant and this I had had it and it was now time for revenge.

For some time now I have been planning my revenge. I have thought about how to retaliate and I finally knew what would be sufficient.

I acted like I was bothered and annoyed, which I actually was, and I reached into the fridge and pulled out an egg. The egg was small enough to conceal in my hand and without hesitating I SMASHED THAT EGG ONTO HIS HEAD and let it drip down all over him. He reached into the fridge and pulled out the sour cream bucket. I say bucket because it is the size you get from Costco.

During this interaction Kate had been standing by watching this transpire. She was in shock as I SMASHED THE EGG onto Taylor's head, but when he pulled out the sour cream, she said, "Oh, no!" and retreated out of harms way.

I don't think Taylor really knew what to do and was a tad hesitant to open the sour cream bucket, but when he did, he waited to long and I dug my hand into the bucket and SMEARED SOUR CREAM ALL OVER HIS EGG FACE!

He retaliated a tad and I only got a small face of sour cream.

He just kept saying over and over, "That's a raw egg." I told him it would make his hair shiny.

I love it when a plan comes together. Next, I think I will freeze his underware in a glass of orange juice and serve it to him, slushy style, for breakfast.

25 intersting, odd or whatever things you should know about me

2009-03-19T17:06:00.000-07:00

25. I love Chubby Hubby ice cream made by Ben & Jerry's. In fact, I could eat the whole pint myself
24. On every bike ride I go on I bring back a rock from that area.
23. When I am falling asleep at night I rub my feet together to comfort myself.
22. I have a serious smelling ability and if something smells bad to me I dry-heave.
21. I dry heave A LOT
20. When I was pregnant with my children I carried an emergency zip-lock bag with me at all times.
19. I do not like microwave popcorn. I LOVE real popcorn
18. I have a beehive, thanks to Megan and Dave, in my yard
17. My favorite book is "To Kill a Mockingbird" I have read it over 100 times
16. I love to watch sports on the weekends with my boys.
15. I am extremely happy when I walk into a greenhouse and smell the soil and the moisture in the air.
14. I would never name a child Ransom, Delbert, Ruprert, Jesus (there is a story and a reason behind all of these), or Ramona (although I love Ramona Quimby)

13. I have serious personal issues with BYU professors, especially ones named Stephanie
12. My dog Chloe, loves Soy beans and peas and corn on the cob. I have seen her eat them right off the vine or off the cob in the garden
11. I feel that to help our economic situation in this country Tofu should be required, by law, for everyone to purchase, and then trow it away.
10. I once found $20.00 in a toilet at work
9. I have been bunjee jumping before
8. I have a brother who, as a small child, loved to find my shoes and pee in them. Only my shoes, no one else. I am not sure why.
7. I love to listen to Andre Bocelli
6. I would like to learn to communicate with animals
5. I am a fan of Jesus, Buddah, Bon Jovi and Captain Jack Sparrow
6. I iron my clothes with a spray bottle and a firm shake
5. My perfect day would be something like this: biking, rock climbing, 85 degree weather, a tank top, shorts, chaco's, water and red rocks
4. I was a pirate in a past life
3. My birthstone is topaz but I wish it were diamond or opal
2. I once wrapped my head in toilet paper at a state soccer game to stay warm. The news reportes took pictures for the Deseret News.
1. My husband is like an Italian mother who always wants to feed everyone all the time, when he is having a good day, and more importantly he wants you to know if it was good and how good was it? I still love him, and I remind him that it isn't always about him.

Why we have children and pets

2009-02-18T08:28:00.000-08:00

There are times when I think I have lost my mind and I sure do miss it. Those times seem to occur when my children and/or pets are driving me nuts; nuts, I like nuts, except peanuts, they make me crazy. Crazy, I was crazy once, they put me in a round room with a rubber mallet and a rubber duck. It drove me nuts. Nuts, I like nuts...You get the picture.

Nevertheless, there are endearing moments when I am so glad I have children and pets. I get all misty eyed and have to take a deep breath.

For instance, how can I not just adore this face? When K comes into my room and says, "Mama, I am bored." She looks at me with that sad pathetic face and those great big eyes. What is a parent to do but feel love of all sorts?

Need I say more?

It's a funny thing, the things kids like. B could spend all day looking at and sitting in cars. I'm glad he found a car that was just his size.

Then they grow up and their voices squeak and they need showers four or five times a day and your fridge is constantly empty.

He tries to be good, but it is so hard. He just needs extra love, and all the attention at once.

Walter aka "the best puppy-dog ever"

The REAL queen of the domain! I love this dog almost more than I love, um, something. She is getting old, and I will be so sad when her time in my life in no longer allowable.

Well, it is a tail without a cat. Why are cats so bizarre? I don't know either.

Can I try something?

2009-02-18T08:00:00.000-08:00

I am not sure if all husbands are like mine. In fact I am quite sure they are not. And yet, after 14 years of marriage, I am still amazed at how I get sucked right into Taylor's experiments. By experiments, I don't mean the scientific kind. I mean the kind where I am the subject of the experiment. He even is polite enough to ask if he can try "something".

"Sure!" I say. As I bend over to put something in the garbage. I am used to all kinds of antics where Taylor is concerned; one can never be to cautious where Taylor's brain is involved. I, nevertheless, being his wife, have forgotten that I am not exempt from his clown humor.

I feel something in the waistband of my jeans and I assume that he has put some kind of dumb thing back there like a hard boiled egg or mashed potatoes or perhaps even a raw hot dog, because that is the kind of thing he thinks is humorous.

At this moment my brain sends a signal to my mouth that ends in a screech and a flailing action, because, what I thought was an innocent object in the waistband of my jeans, turns out to be a funnel which Taylor poured cold water into.

Taylor is overcome by hysterics, and then to add insult to injury he takes pictures of my behind, which I post for all the world to see.

Life is certainly never dull, and it is full of contrast. Some of us get clown cars and some of us get clown husbands.

The Uncanny similarities between a dog and his owner

2009-01-16T20:00:00.000-08:00

Taylor vs. Walter

They both like to sleep with their "blankies"
They both like to sleep late and it is very hard for them to wake
They both pee outside and inside
They both are very peticular and protective about their food and their food stores
Both wimper when you scratch them
They both like to eat in the middle of the night
They both have napping skills
They are both pleasantly plump
They are both soooo cute
They both have short legs
They love to smell EVERYTHING!!!!
I am sure this list will grow as time goes on, but it is true that a dog and it's owner have very similar attributes

Top Ten Favorite Sounds/Smells

2009-01-16T08:06:00.000-08:00

This may seem like a weird topic, but so many of our life experiences are linked to a smell or sound;experiences that cause us to feel emotions that always make us rise to a better place because they have changed us fundamentally.

Chew on this a bit and think about what your favorite sounds/smells are and why they bring up such great emotion.

Top 10

10. Puppy breath

9. The sound of a newborn baby's diaper rustling when they move their legs
8. Summer rain on hot pavement

7. The sound of the bells at the bell tower
6. Sunscreen
5. The thundering of a fast car engine
4. Pine trees on single track on the Ridge trail

3. Hot soil in the greenhouse
2. Sprinklers
1. Laughter of short people outside

others, because who has only 10 favorite: smell of BBQ, the ocean, the smell of school on the first day back, chatter of a peloton, the roar of the crowd when a soccer goal is scored, saw dust, coffee brewing, bacon frying, chirping of crickets, call of the quail, when someone says, "I love you"

This is why you should mind your mother!!!

2009-01-10T12:21:00.000-08:00

The last picture on this post is quite graphic. So please be prepared.

This is for all the kids who need to ask how come and why 90 thousand times a day, and never accept the answer "because I have lived longer than you have" as an acceptable answer. Here is to all the people who run with scissors, forks, knives and wonder "what if"!

I don't know who this is, but he obviously has had some time to heal in this picture. I'll bet he doesn't mess around or pick his nose with forks anymore.

Willow Girl and the Chick

2009-01-10T12:16:00.000-08:00

Is that not the funniest picture you have ever see? If you look closely you can see that she isn't even squeezing the chick.

The Pitiful One and The Mean One

2009-01-08T20:03:00.000-08:00

There is not one person on this planet that is exactly the same as another. I am so grateful for that.

I am not feeling well, as far as my health goes. I tore some muscles in my back and it has caused my sciatic nerve to become inflamed. To say the least, I have been in a lot of pain for several days.

For anyone who knows me, understands that if I am ill it doesn't bode well for those around me. I tend to be grumpy when I am sick or when people call and wake me up. I really just want to be left alone and I don't want to play 3000 questions. I want to go to bed and get better. I know this about myself and I have come to accept it as part of my personality.

Taylor on the other hand, when he is not feeling well, is just plain pitiful. He lays or sits or walks and moans.This is his only claim to fame as far as multi-tasking goes. Not a good kind of moan, mind you, like the kind you would hear after an extraordinarily excellent meal, but a pitiful moan that makes you want to run away as fast as possible. It's the kind of moan that is constant and annoying and could lead to eye gouging and buying large quantities of ear plugs and sedatives.

Tonight, Taylor was his trying to do something,I don't recall exactly what it was, but all it really did was annoy me in a deep way. He told me that he doesn't really like it when I am feeling bad because I am just plain mean! He said "You are mean when you are feeling bad and I am plain pitiful when I feel bad!"

So next time you are irritated with life's little variances remember that we are all created to make our world interesting and to create new jobs, such as, foam factories for the making of ear plugs.

Gloating

2009-01-08T18:46:00.000-08:00

At times I become so enraged with TV that I want to take it outside, put it on the retaining wall, get a shot gun, and blow the whole stupid thing to smithereens! I actually fantasize about the liberating day I do it!

However, there is, on a rare occasion, that I am grateful for the noise that infiltrates my home. One of those days came just the other day.

Bailey has a habit of talking a lot. In fact he talks so much that we have nicknamed him "Donkey" as in Donkey from Shrek. In addition to talking a lot, he festers Kate a great deal. In reality he just wishes she were a little brother and that she would play with him and think he is the cat's meow.

The other day Bailey was his usual self and posed a question to Kate.

"Aren't I the greatest?" he asked her.

She looked at him and immediately responded, "Easy on the gloating Bay!" (Keep in mind Kate is 5.)

He asked her where she learned that word. She told him, "I learned it on Word Girl."

For anyone who doesn't know what Word Girl is, it is a TV program on PBS that teaches vocabulary. Word Girl is her secret identity and her side kick is a monkey named Captain Huggy Face, her nemesis are many such as the butcher, Dr. Two Brains, etc.

Cars vs. Basketball

2009-01-08T17:53:00.000-08:00

Bailey is 12, in fact he just turned twelve. As far as being 12 goes he is pretty normal, but he is developing some pretty interesting talents. Two of those emerged the other night as I was taking he and his friend Paul to basketball practice.

Normally it only takes about five to ten minutes to take them to where practice was, but because it had been snowing, for two days straight, it took us a bit longer. This is a good thing because I had the wonderful chance to hear this exchange between the two of them.

"Toyota, Camry, v6; Chevy, Silverado 3/4 ton; Mazda 6," Bailey rattles off, and the list just went on and on as we drove past all of the cars. He would call out the make and model of every car, truck and SUV, and he was right about everyone of them.

Paul says, "How do you do that? How do you know what all the names of those cars are?"

Bailey said, "I don't know, I just know them." At this point Paul decides he is going to join in the car naming fun.

"That one is grey, and that one has 4 doors!" he states. "That's about as good as I will ever be naming cars." Both boys laughed.

At this moment I pulled up at a stop light and to the right of us was a beautiful old building. Bailey pops off with a random statement, "That building is erroneous!"

Paul and I both start laughing and Paul asks Bailey how he knows such big words? And I was laughing because I know what erroneous means, and it is not a word to describe an old beautiful building.

Erroneous: based on or containing an error, to be mistaken, wrong, incorrect or inaccurate; to stray from what is considered moral, decent, proper, etc.

So I said, "Bay, do you know what erroneous means?"

"No, but when you combine enormous and radical you get erroneous!" I laughed even harder. He truly had a point.

The light turned green and we started moving. In order to help Paul feel more comfortable with Bailey's fascinating talents I said, "Paul, you know, you have a talent like Bay. You can name every college and NBA player and their team, just like Bay can name cars."

As if on cue Bailey plays "Name that basketball player" like Paul played "Name that car". Bailey says,"Yea, if you asked me to talk about basketball all I could say is hey, that guys black and that one's bald, and oh, there's another black guy."

We all laughed some more. So today, actually on Tuesday, I am grateful for the growing minds of twelve year old boys. Huzzah!

Gratitude and Crazy People

2009-01-04T20:34:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful that I have shoes and sock and a heater to keep me warm. I wish I could grow a fur coat, but people might point and laugh or dry-heave. The older I am getting the less I am liking winter and the nicer is sounds to be somewhere warm where I can ride my bike all year.

The other day I stated to a perfectly good stranger that it was colder than a well diggers butt. She asked me how I knew how cold a well diggers butt was. Isn't it common knowledge that it is cold at the bottom of wells, and knowing that, wouldn't it make sense that his behind would be cold? Perhaps I will start writing down sayings like that and make my own version of that one game that I can't remember the name to.

Today Taylor and I helped his sister E move. She lives in this cool little building downtown and she has some nice neighbors and some interesting neighbors. One of her more interesting neighbors is Otis.

When we first saw Otis he was walking up the street talking to himself. Taylor has this little game he plays called "Bluetooth or Crazy" that he learned from a radio program he listens to. The gist of it is to determine if people are talking on the phone with a bluetooth or just talking to themselves. It can be a very amusing game because you never can tell sometime.

We asked E about it. She said he was defiantly just crazy.

We took another load out to the truck and he followed us all the time talking to his imaginary friends; posing questions, and then answering them. He had the vocabulary of a drunken sailor. I also learned he doesn't like Mormons or garbage piling around his building, but that is all I could pick out of the mambo-jumbo he was talking.

Otis followed us back into the building after we loaded up the truck and leave it to Taylor to strike up a conversation with this man. I was just trying to get inside as quickly as possible because I couldn't tell which eye he was looking at me with and I was on the verge of dry-heaving myself from his smell. E and I made a bee-line for her apartment hoping to get to safety. Taylor just kept on talking. Not soon enough the door was finally shut and locked! E said he sometimes just stands in the hall outside of his door and talks and talks. She also said his apartment smells. She didn't know if it was dead bodies or not. No bluetooth for Otis, just CRAZY!

Gratitue

2009-01-03T06:56:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful to have a warm place to live.

Those who inspire us

2009-01-02T14:53:00.000-08:00

Have you ever stopped to consider why a particular individual inspires you? What is it about them that causes you to want to be better? Is it the way they teach? Is it the way they force you to look at a specific issue in a different way? Is it because they are always changing themselves? WHAT OR WHO INSPIRES YOU?

Take the time and really think about it. Be specific; be honest. See what happens to you internally when you really notice why you are inspired.

I leared something really interesting today. The root origin of inspired means to "breathe in spirit". When you feel inspired what spirit do you breathe in?

Up the down staircase

2009-01-01T19:39:00.000-08:00

This year, 2009, I have decided to start participating in blogging for my own self, plus I have been inspired by my predecessors. Not only that, I would like for this to be a catalyst to remind me of how great life is no matter the circumstances. To begin I would like to take a moment to say thank you to all the special people in my life, seen and unseen.

I first need to start with my parents. I would not be who I am if it weren't for them. They are sensitive, generous, hard working, humorous, sassy, spiritual people, and always encouraged me in every endeavor I wanted to do. They didn't always agree with what I chose, but they supported me nonetheless. To the two of you I am deeply indebted. Thank you for believing in me. I love you.

Next I must thank my balancing half, Taylor. He has taught me to be soft and forgiving and to have humor. He has taught me it's OK to take a nap and not feel guilty. He has taught me that poo and farts really are funny. He has shown me what selfless love is. He has taught me to be true to myself. He is my soul mate. He is my catalyst to seeing what I really can do. I love you baby!

My children also need to be named. Again, if it weren't for them I would be so naive about how the world really is. I have learned so much from them. For instance, Austin has taught me that any object, such as rubber ducks or banana's or sticks of any size or shape, can and will be used as guns. Bailey has taught me that girls are not complete as humans because they are missing vital parts; ding-dings, which they should go buy.Eliza has taught me that if you say something like "you stink" to someone and they ask you what you just said you say, "Me say nothing." Kate has taught me that carrots can not only be peeled, but sharpened.

To my siblings and their spouses thank you for your humor and your love and the way you watch out for me and my family. You have never let me down, but have showed me compassion and humor and above all real friendship.

For my in-laws and brother's and sister's-in-law I must say thank you for being patient with me and my husband and all of our excess personality. I can guarantee you if you will continue to stick by us life will never be dull. I love you all, and am not great at expressing it as often as I need to, but thank you for your humor and you sincerity.

For all the angels that have come into my life; thank you for carrying me when I was to weak to walk on my own. Deepest love to you.

So, with that, I begin this new year. Huzzah!
I choose to;
live with intention.
walk to the edge.
listen hard.
practice wellness.
play with abandon.
laugh.
choose with no regret.
continue to learn.
appreciate my friends.
do what I love.
live this life as if this is all there is.
-mary anne radmacher

The top 10 Taylor Snyder sayings

2009-01-01T19:13:00.000-08:00

10. Said to Austin in regard to the proper use of a rubber duck, "Duck's aren't guns!"

9. When I eat bad food I don't feel good.

8. Could be meat, could be cake (with a bit of help from George Carlin may he RIP).

7. Just smell it, it smells like vinegar.

6. Spiders freak me out!

5. Do I have a bat in the cave?

4. I love you more than a dog loves flowers.

3. What if my Aunt Mary had a pair of nuts? She'd be my uncle Ralph.

2. I am a smoldering volcano of viral manhood.

1. If one and one half chickens could lay one and one half eggs in one and one half minutes, how long would it take a chimpanzee with a wooden leg to pick the seeds out of a cucumber?

Motivation to keep your New Years Resolution to get in shape

2009-01-01T18:53:00.000-08:00

For all of us who really have good intentions and not much motivation when it comes to keeping our New Years Resolution.

I was on vacation this last summer, 2008, with my mom. Our first stop was in Boston, and we walked around the historic district. We happen to be walking on a paved walking path and I came across this little gem. In Boston they are very liberal...gay marriage, Denny Crane, and a fat lane for walkers who need a little more room. Huzzah to equal rights.

Fall in Utah...and how kids remember it

2009-01-01T14:47:00.000-08:00

Fall in Utah is a magnificent sight. The leaves change into beautiful colors, all kinds of creatures begin to come out to forage before winter covers all the vegetation and we humans sigh with relief that the gardening season in finally coming to an end.

That being said, our family decided to go on a wonderful afternoon excision up the canyon to beautiful South Fork where we frequently ride our bikes and hike. We also decided to take the dogs...all three of them. However Taylor only acknowledges two of them and the third dog, Eddie, is referred to as, "that dog".

It may seem that we have more dogs than we should. I forgot to add we also have a cat named Pinky. That is another story however. Nevertheless, the dogs are named Chloe, the big one that looks like a red and white striped bear, an Alaskan Malamute; Walter, a.k.a., my sweet little, angle puppy dog, the beagle; and Eddie, a.k.a. "that dog", a Wheaten Terrier. We indeed have a motley crew and that includes the children and the parent's who produced them.

Before we even got started, we had to get all the dogs, and the kids, into the 4runner. Chloe is getting on in years and doesn't get around to well, so it has become necessary to lift the tiny little thing, into and out of, the car. The other two we wedged into a dog box together to prevent them from romping all over us in the car. Chloe has travelled enough to know that she just needs to lay down, keep her paws and legs in the vehicle at all times, until the ride comes to a complete stop. The other two, aren't so experienced. Walter puked, and Eddie peed. The good part is they were inside the box and instead of sharing the joy with all of us, they just kept it between the two of them.

This episode set the tone for the rest of this hike. The only really pleasant one, for the whole trip was Eliza, and she's almost always pleasant, as you can see in the following pictures.

Taylor was really starting to annoy me as well with his big talk of how "superior" his dog was and how "that dog" was so stupid and barks so much and all that crap. We were on our way back down the trail, which by the way, is a multipurpose trail, used by hikers, bikers, horseback riders and even campers. Anyway, as we are perusing down the trail, Walter comes upon a pile of horse manure; then he ATE IT!

Taylor just couldn't believe that his sweet, angel, puppy dog ate horse manure! And he kept groaning and saying, "Oh, gross. That's disgusting. Don't eat horse shit. Ewww." I was laughing my guts out as Chloe and Eddie just walked past it. Comeuppance is AWESOME!

This all happened in September of 2008 and it is now January 1, 2009. Several weeks ago Kate was standing in the hallway and said, "Mama, remember when we went on a walk with the dogs and Walter ate horseshit?" I laughed so hard I had to sit down; again comeuppance is AWESOME!